Guaranteed indicators You Were A 2000s Gay Teen On Long isle as told through the resident Long isle Lesbian,
Dayna Troisi.

Spray tans. MTV’s “Area Raiders.” Having an inexplicable crush on Janis Ian. Striking your language in someone’s cellar enclosed by grateful Bunny prints. Constantly caught between becoming emo and guidette. Obtaining shoved into lockers.

All of these situations make-up the strangely specific experience with becoming a gay teenager on
Lawng Island
during the early 2000s. There is seriously anything in water on
Longer Island
, because there are more homosexuals than
nail salons
. I am aware this is unbelievable, as suburbia is often a conservative wasteland, but that is what they WANT one to believe. In reality, we have been homosexual as hell. All my personal
and best pals are queers from the Island of longer.

So, if no one more pertains to this record, i understand you spray-tanned, sauce-eating, fist-pumping gays can get it. Enjoy and kindly tell the graduating course and go my personal
insta handle
on lesbians who escaped their own hometowns making over six numbers today.

Listed here are 131 signs that you are currently a lengthy Island
homosexual child
into the 2000s. Certainly, this number is loooong because the audience is added AF– the eyelashes and lists are hella long– they don’t state “Long Island” for absolutely nothing.


. You’d a GSA in your high school

And you also reported you’re simply an “ally.”

2. you’d homosexual cybersex in AOL chatrooms


3. You had a key Myspace web page

In which you joined up with lesbian groups along with intensive connections with other queer kids littered across The usa.

4. You secretly saw
“The L Keyword”
and anxiously flipped back once again to Nickelodeon every time you heard the mom’s footsteps nearing

Your reactions happened to be on point because of the remote.

5. You
this dark colored toy

Extended isle gays are always incredible in bed because of these.

6. You had been suspiciously proficient at eating these

7. You believed the Long isle moderate would view you for the food store and out one your whole family

8. Ugly
straight ladies
insisted you’d a crush to them

As though.

9. You had an all-consuming crush on a punk senior

Mine had a fohawk and used security pins as earrings.

10. “The Perks to be A Wallflower” rocked your globe

And in that second, I swear we were



11. You used
black colored lip stick

Because what exactly is becoming queer without subverting ~norms~?

12. You were darkly enthusiastic about Sylvia Plath

Im. I am. I will be. GAY.

13. Your own English teacher ended up being your absolute best pal



14. Truth Or Dare was actually your preferred sleepover video game

You have not stayed in the event that you did not just be sure to bribe your very best pal into daring one kiss your own crush.

15. You’re inexplicably aroused by audio of mac ‘n’ cheddar staying stirred

Confess it.

16. You’d an excellent homosexual man BFF

Just who lowkey is actually way too cool off individually today, works popular, and hangs out with a bunch of directly types.

17. You couldn’t determine whether you wanted as Avril Lavigne or carry out the woman

a link looked awful on me personally, and so I know that i recently wished to rest along with her.

18. You used to be regarding the
softball team
, or if you are a timeless, unsporty lez at all like me, the program choir

19. You were about debate group

And always contended pro-choice.

20. You heard Regina Spektor and Kate Nash

21. You sang an obscure monologue into the talent tv series

Mine got me personally dangling.

22. You’d secret rendezvous inside women’ restroom

No kiss is ever going to measure to your excitement of high school bathroom kiss.

23. You took part in “Day of Silence”

As an “ally,” naturally.

24. You had been


frightened to be outed your parents

I came out to my mother in the gyno, because I extremely stressed she’d tell my mom I’d a LESBIAN pussy.

25. You had no intercourse training and get never ever used a
dental dam

Sorry to all or any you gender teacher ladies just who visited Smith college or university. I assume you should never rest with an extended isle lez?

26. You visited Warped concert tour or Bamboozle

And wore Jac Vanek and TWLOHA jelly bracelets.

27. And asked group people from Cobra Starship to sign your system elements

Gabe Saporta signed my boob, and my personal mommy got aside my AIM membership.

28. You watched homosexual shit on
and said it was any sort of accident and for a college job

29. You have enormous acrylic
because not homosexuality could possibly get when it comes to a lengthy isle women’s beauty regimen

Lesbian fail, but manner victory.

30. You stained squirt tan all-around some stylish lesbians sheets initially you installed

Sorry about this.

31. You self


had sex inside bra as you had been putting on a bombshell push up bra from Victoria’s key

All our boobies looked two sizes bigger than they actually had been ’cause of these silly bras. I was a 36E with one, and that I appeared to be a demented pervy comic strip.

32. You anxiously wanted to get on
Jersey Shore

33. You didnot have to rest to go to a female’s household

The thing which makes it far more easy growing up

34. residence functions happened to be high in underground homosexual debauchery

The cellar is when the homosexual shit takes place.

35. You appeared to see if the ring finger ended up being longer than your pointer hand to determine if perhaps you were actually a lesbian

Because you heard it you privately watched “The L term.”

36. Or took “in the morning I gay?” tests

I unequivocally understood I found myself gay at 13 yrs old because Quizilla explained I found myself.

37. You


gay content material thereon dark colored website
Ebaums Community

38. When youtube was actually invented, you sweatily searched “girls kissing” in your family members’ pc in the exact middle of the night

Which directed to…

39. You free gay downloadable porn to Quicktime (it was pre-Pornhub, youngins!)

40. You’d to
push some guy to prom
, yet still slept with a female that night

41. Your body fought someone that flirted along with your girlfriend at least once

You are not from Long isle when you haven’t punched your ex in the face at Pride.

42. You used to be hopelessly deeply in love with a
right woman
which skateboarded

43. You had to visit “religion course”

The highlight of my twelfth grade career ended up being getting fingered into the chapel bathroom.

44. “everything She stated” by t.A.T.u. ended up being your shit

45. You smoked smoking cigarettes in the coastline in winter in your auto

And thought you used to be very cool and alt.

46. You drove 20 minutes to go to the drive-thru Dunkin’

Despite the fact that there seemed to be a walk-in one right down the block.

47. You drove a couple of hours receive Sonic in New Jersey

Degrees of trainingn’t caught on, here actually wasn’t a lot to accomplish.

48. You drove since your sole supply of enjoyable

Will you be seeing a design here?

49. You held hearing about LIGALY while once you understand you’ll quite die than action base in LIGALY

Actually loser closeted kids on extended isle have criteria. We wished to celebration in a dark dance club, perhaps not consume stale donuts in a community center.

50. You possessed a Ryan Cassata CD

That you ordered when he visited the GSA.

51. You h

ad a crush on a woman whom decided to go to a catholic class

52. You “hated” your mommy but spent each and every day together with your mom

The family codependency is real.

53. You missed junior prom

I spent junior prom consuming at warm’s using the various other gays.

54. You centered so difficult on to the ground within the locker room you practically dropped over

God forbid a woman thinks you’re staring at the woman instruction bra.

55. Will Die If Not Putting On Converse

56. You drew tattoos all over your body (because slicing had been also severe)

We were too sheltered and sensitive to reduce.

57. You went along to Hot Topic then remaining since you had gotten discouraged

Since there ended up being usually a hot dyke operating at sign-up, however you just weren’t edgy sufficient on her behalf.

58. Nevertheless had been additionally too afraid to go into Abercrombie or Hollister

As it was actually dark and smelly inside — and because you used to be very interested in the softball lez greeting adolescents at home.

59. So that you purchased rainbow


regarding DL at Spencer’s

60. “Hairstyles of the Damned” rocked your globe

Every queer kid read this from the shuttle.

61. So did “The Catcher In The Rye”

And therefore, you became teacher’s dog.

62. You confided within pet dog, pet, or hamster

because nobody otherwise ~got you~

63. You had close friends pendants from Claire’s with a lady you finished up internet dating

64. You composed suicide notes as an interest

With zero aim of actually following through, you merely like, required the *release.*

65. You have an extremely morbid, dark, and politically inaccurate sense of humor

See 64.

66. You cannot sit Personal Justice Warriors.

Very long Islanders haven’t any patience for buzzwords.

67. You totally are unlearning your f*cked up prejudices, however.

Becoming gay does not prompt you to exempt from that.

68. You had been enthusiastic about 3oh!3.

Tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got meat, that I’M A VEGETARIAN, AND THAT I AIN’T F*CKING SCARED OF HIM.

69. You study to flee a grim real life, however merely wound up checking out books about younger gay adolescents becoming hate-crimed anyhow

Or you had been hate-crimed for being a loss exactly who checks out.

70. You utilize “hate criminal activity” as a colloquialism.

71. You bought

a “gay road” sign up the field trip to the town

And hid it within wardrobe.

72. You installed a delight flag within locker and took a Myspace image with it

73. You had a DeviantArt profile

Mine regrettably however is present.

74. You thought really seriously which you interact with Matthew Shepard and Laramie Wyoming while having practically nothing in keeping aside from becoming homosexual

And also you was the star in “The Laramie Project,” guided by your weird drama instructor.

75. You have made insensitive laughs pertaining to “The Laramie venture” since if you weren’t laughing, you had been crying.

My personal companion and I also however get hysterical anytime we say “the shining lighting of Laramie.”

76. You experienced your own yearbook and guessed who you believed was actually homosexual also

77. You’re in a love-hate union along with your songs educators

78. You dramatically seemed from the coach window with regards to rained

79. You realized every range to hire

NO time just TODAY.

80. You played 7 Minutes In paradise at an all-girls sleepover


81. You remember getting so seriously disappointed you’ren’t welcomed on all-girls sleepover the place you’re SURE they played 7 Minutes In paradise


82. You pretended become frightened during horror flicks to put on your own buddy’s hand

Oldest key from inside the guide, girls.

83. You ate the sorrows in Elio’s Pizza when you got home from softball rehearse

Despite the fact that there are 10 remarkable pizzerias in a two-mile distance of your property.

84. You had a Nextel walkie-talkie phone

Tegan and Sara
was actually the faith

86. P!nk

had been the distress

Missundaztood however slaps.

87. You considerably cried within room paying attention to “Family Portrait”

While your residence existence was really rather amazing and your mom was in the kitchen making sauce while your own father had been strolling canine you ~swore~ you had manage.

88. You carried a skateboard around but couldn’t really skate

89. You shared smoking cigarettes around but failed to really smoke cigarettes

I forced my ex to carry smokes almost everywhere to appear hard.

90. You did almost anything to abstain from gymnasium class

Thankfully, I have a disability. Some other gays needed to get more imaginative.

100. You said you used to be bi

You were actually homosexual once the time is long.

101. You decided to go to
Fire Island
every summertime without ever before realizing it ended up being gay central

HOW performed I maybe not understand I became thus near to plenty dykes?

102. You entirely understood what your health instructor was actually referring to when she talked-about this lady roommate

I got the largest crush to my health instructor.

103. You dressed in rainbow sweatbands


104. You invested weekends ingesting around dusty home fitness equipment in another person’s basement

You used to ben’t cool enough to take in in vehicle parking lots and that means you drank next to the mother’s Gazelle.

105. You obsessively curated your myspace top 8

106. You diverted the attention away from yourself by making fun of somebody otherwise when you look at the locker space


107. You begged your own mom to purchase you shit from infomercials

108. You binged on terrible snacks like Cosmic Brownies and Kool-Aid after school

109. You played those Barbie liven up games online so you could get their clothes off

You filthy perv.

110. You corrupted your next-door neighbors by making each of their Sims flirt with women

111. You kissed ladies as a “game” because you were “acting”

112. You viewed “men You shouldn’t Cry” since the sole homosexual content material in GSA and had been afraid back to the cabinet some

113. Then you certainly saw “But i am a Cheerleader” and got further scared

114. If you are happy, you had one
queer aunt
whom lived in NYC and provided you hope.

115. You furiously masturbated to MTV music films

I’ll never forget the first-time We saw the “Genie In a container” video clip.

116. The cool ladies who bullied you now have numerous kids and work for a



Hey! i understand we’ven’t talked in a while. How are you presently woman?! was actually thinking if you were contemplating discovering about Mary Kay?

117. You saw “After that” aided by the home shut given that it was a bisexual episode


118. You snuck peeks of titties through the 18+ portion of the video clip shop

119. You saw Scrambled Porn Channel on channel 99

120. You practiced the heartbreak of being at mall and seeing directly partners holding hands and sensation like this will not be you

121. You got out with making call at the hallway as the educators failed to want to be implicated of detest crime-ing you

122.  You w

atched “Donnie Darko” with queer art kids and


to think its great to fit right in

The F*CK was up with that film?

123. You penned I <3 **** in your notebooks

Since you were also afraid to really create the crush’s title.

124. You loved “Twilight”

Or thought a smug feeling of superiority for hating it.

125. You’d devastating anxiousness on
Nationwide Coming-out Day

126. You truly felt driving a car of goodness when your parents discussed gay individuals

127. You burned CDs with custom playlists for women you’d crushes on

128. You dated a woman with an eating disorder

129. You dated a woman while having your own eating disorder but hers had been more serious which means you was required to consider that

Said Long Islanders have inappropriate senses of laughter.

130. You used men’s room


to draw the


131. You seemingly have actually many repressed injury, and you are realizing it you’re causeing this to be list

However you are unable to prevent cackling with your closest friend the person you survived all of it with.